Okay lets take it back a little bit. Over the years I have come to accept that some people might find me to be a kinda alright looking guy. I've tried to deny it for the longest time but it caught up with me. Maybe I'm a little bit attractive but not Taye Diggs type. I dont exactly make people melt at the knees you know. Now understand, I have never, ever looked at myself and said that I am a hottie. I seriously dont see it. To me, I'm just another regular guy hanging on the streets. Fo real. I just dont see what people see. And actually I feel a bit uncomfortable when people tell me nice things about myself. Complex maybe. Anyway, this has gotten me into some serious trouble in my years on these streets. Dude, its fucken crazy man. Lemme tell you my first ever alternate story.
So there I was, young impressionable, naive boy was hanging out on the beach in 1998 with his friend for new years. The said friend was never into ass so it was not his mission for the evening. And honestly it was not for me either. Anyway there we are, little laaities, on clifton 4th on the 31st of December looking for a good time/. We find it, but in the form of other young people like us wanting a good time. Anyway, the night rolls along and the new years celebrations roll past. Back then it was all about how many chick you had scored, so I was doing pretty well in the stakes cause that was my vibe. Anyway, a little after midnight a coupla friends decide to throw me into the water just for fun cause we are all drunk. Fair enough. Now there I m all drunk and **** and wet on the beach on new years. Come 4AM and Im hanging out on the edge of the beach with all my wet clothes over my body to keep myself warm, and this guy walks over to me to greet me. In the Cape Town sense he was a pretty average guy. Yellow denim pants, white wifebeater, sandals and no front teeth. So in the spirit of the new year I extend my hand to him to wish him a new year. He takes my hand and says "Happy New Years" to me. nothing outta the ordinary with that. Next thing I know I try to claim my hand back but he still has it in his hand. Next thing you know this guy goes from taking my hand to greet it and his hands go up from my forearm to my shoulder to my chest to my abs. WTF?!?!?!?! This guy, I dont know at all, has his paws all over me and I dont know what to do. So he asks me why am so wet and I tell him that some friend threw me in the pool. Next thing I know this guys hands are on my crotch and they are squeezing. WTF!!!!
Then he asks me: "Can I suck your cock?"
Why? Why does this kind of thing happen to me? Look, I am all for people who are into that kind of vibe but why me? Seriously, is there something about me that says that I'm a guy that way inclined?
And this is not the first(or the last) time this has happened. What the dealy is?
So I just moved into my new crib. Check out my view dood. Siiiick! 
Off we went the old biscuit mill. This has to be one of my most favourite buildings in the city. Its just so rustic and creep and old school with all these nooks and cranny's, make me feel like being on a set of some d-grade horror flick. Any way, I digress... 
So yeah, now this place had been a hidden gem for me for the longest time. I tell you when I first discovered it, I just had to tell my friends about it cause it so cool. I always wondered what white people were getting up to so early on Saturday mornings and I finally found out. Its a great place to knock out a hangover.
Oh and they also have one of my favourite South African beers, Jack Black, in the ice cold barrel. You just cant deny how dope this spot is.
So I rolled through with The Maverick,
Princess Meemi, Jimmy Flexx,
The Pied Piper and Mahal.
They've even got some band playing there to set the mood and stuff.
Anyway so we got down to the chowing some good ol butter chicken curry and thai green wrap and original pizza on flat crispy bread and some dope ass Portuguese cervesas.
Anyway we chilled and the Maverick got politicking with her buddy while we all hanged and talked shit.
And my mans Sneed came through too.
So after that we figured, fuck it, the day is young why don't we do ourselves a favour and head on over to the beach. So we headed over to Clifton 2nd. I don't know about any other Cape Dronians but I much rather prefer 2nd beach to 4th for a couple of reasons. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not keen on being a poser. And I'm especially not keen on posing all with other posers like on 4th. And of course 2nd is a certified topless beach too, so I'm sure we know which way the scale tips in this regard.
Also the scenery is really nice...
...really REALLY nice.
So we hanged some more, talked a bit of more shit
ate a coupla peaches, stuck some grapes up our noses
and threw up gang signs like we know what we talkin bout.
Took out the bat and started smacking it around and shit. This was actually pretty cool cause I got the fells to start doing some acrobatic stunts like Jonty Rhodes for the camera and we had some pretty good results too. I'll show them to you later though, I'm a bit lazy right now.
Then we packed up our shit and headed on home. Woohoo!
